Haze

This one�s a *tiny* bit less amusing than the others.*

*read as: dark and gloomy

Just a warning.

Have you ever had one of those periods in your life where you feel like your entire existence is being played out in a giant haze?

The air is so thick that you can hardly breath.

The fog is so dense, you can�t even see your own two hands when they are at the full arms� length away from your body.

You feel constant pressure pushing on you from all sides, including the ground beneath you and the seemingly vast sky above.

There are constant jabs coming at you from all directions.

You hear voices right beside you, but after feeling around for them, you know they are nowhere near you.

There is constant, deafening silence, yet loud yelling and crashing is coming from all around.

There is a disgusting taste in your mouth, yet there are no remnants of anything to be tasted around you.

You are constantly moving, yet getting nowhere.

In the distance, there is a faint light, attempting to guide you along your way; when you move towards it, the light disappears to reveal the same shadow which plagues the rest of your surroundings.

Sensory overload.

Your mind is trying to take everything in, and in doing so, your mind is taking in nothing.

You are so bewildered at where you are, but you are focused on trying to get out of the current predicament.

You stop and close your eyes to look inward, revealing the same darkness that surrounds you on the outside.

A moment is taken to try to search backward in time, hoping that memories of the past can help to shed some light on the current situation.

As your eyes open, there is nothing; you begin to wonder whether your eyes were ever really open to begin with or whether they have been closed tightly all along.

No answers come.

You are still struggling to breathe.

The fog is still dense.

The pressure is still constant.

The jabs are still coming.

The voices... still there.

The noise... still raging.

The taste... still bitter.

The motion... still useless as ever.

You pinch yourself, in hopes of waking up from a nasty dream, only to realize it is your life...

Your reality...

Your hell.

You cry out for help, but no echo is heard.

Did you ever call out in the first place, or was your distress swallowed up by the fog or lost in the vast expanse?

Still... no answers come.

Motion being useless and your mind in a bigger haze than your body, you stop completely exhausted.

You try to sleep.

You believe that shutting it all out and ignoring the confusion, frustration and pain will help you to gather the strength, the courage, to find your way out.

But sleep is hard to come by.

Hours pass while your mind wanders.

Finally, somewhere among the silence and the screams and the pressure... your mind catches up with your body and you sleep.

The dreams are the same as your reality... and you wonder...

Am I really asleep... or am I still awake?

No answers come.

You are still struggling to breathe.

The fog is still dense.

The pressure is still constant.

The jabs are still coming.

The voices... still there.

The noise... still raging.

The taste... still bitter.

The motion... still useless as ever.

You pinch yourself, in hopes of waking up from a nasty dream, only to realize it is your life...

Your reality...

Your hell.

*sigh*

Been a really bizarre couple days, y�all.

But... slowly... all of the answers are coming...

I think.

later, kids...

~robert