GOD�s Whizzing Down The Highway

Ugh.

I�m on Long Island after a very very long drive. It *should* take approximately four and a half hours� it took us almost six and a half.

So� Rachel and I decided that we needed to get away for the weekend� and so� away we went� off to her home� and for a little adventure in the city�

But� I digress�

Anywho� we were zooming along, just fine� and then� all of a sudden, I�m sitting in bumper to bumper traffic on the middle of the Interstate 81 about 10 miles into Pennsylvania.

It took us approximately 45 minutes to travel about 5 miles. We were at a total stand-still for about 10 minutes.

Ugh.

Then there was New Jersey.

Ok. First of all� I don�t like New Jersey to begin with�

I think it has to do being shipped off to "Camp Minh-Chau" (as my Aunt Tori used to refer to it�)� aka my mother�s house, during the summers�

But� traffic� well� it blew.

And not in a good way.

We�re talking hardcore blow job� with teeth.

But not just a little bit of scrape-age�

We�re talking razor sharp fangs�

We had to wait *forever* to friggin� pay our six-dollar toll to cross the George Washington Bridge�

Oy.

So� all-in-all� it was a loooooong drive�

Hopefully, our adventures in the city tomorrow will make it all worthwhile�

Sooo� New Jersey drivers� well� they�re on crack.

Ok� can someone *please* explain to me where in the road rules it says that it�s ok to back up on the middle of the interstate???

Ok� so� there was mad traffic, right?

I understand that if you�re stuck in heavy traffic that you might take the next exit possible to turn around in order to find an alternate route�

But� where in the gay hell does someone think that it�s ok to pull over to the shoulder of the road, throw the car into reverse and then drive backwards to the exit you just passed�

And when I say "just passed," I actually mean a mile back up the road�

Ok. So� had I only seen this occur one time, I think I would�ve been ok with it.

But I saw it happen four times.

I�m beginning to wonder if it�s some crack ass part of the New Jersey drivers� education courses�

Or if there are just a lot of people from New Jersey who are on crack�

So� as I was sitting in traffic� I had a lot of time to watch the cars and trucks pass alongside the road� on the moving side.

Besides the overwhelming sense of envy over the speed of the traffic in the opposite direction� i.e. over 5mph� I got great amusement in reading the ads and signs on trucks and busses as they passed�

Down the road a distance, I spotted the word GOD above the cab of a truck.

As it approached, I did a double take, just to make sure that my eyes weren�t playing tricks on me.

Nope. GOD was quickly buzzing towards me.

As I spotted the side of the truck, the letters G � O � D were cascaded down across the entire width of the trailer�

*blink*

As the truck whizzed past me, I finally figured out that it was an acronym�

Guaranteed

Overnight

Delivery

*blink*

Riiiiiiight�

(Insert witty remark here.)

(There are just so many different jokes I could make here� But I�m sleepy� And I must rest up for our misadventures in the city, tomorrow�)

later, kids�

~robert