Little Green Lines

I have a dilemma.

I am facing the tough question that thousands upon thousands college students across the world grapple with on a daily basis.

No, it has nothing to do with balancing how much ramen you can buy if you get another case of beer.

The question is: Should I go to class, today?

As I awoke and looked at the clock at 11:30, I thought to myself... �My class is not until 1:25. I have time to sleep...� and back over I rolled.

The next time I looked at the clock, it was 12:36. �Oh crap... I need to start getting ready... or I�m going to miss my class...� and back over I rolled.

At 12:48, I figured it was time to get up.

Now... here�s the thing... how badly do I need to go? Ok. Let�s assume I have to go. What are my options at the current time?

1) Hurry my ass up and take a shower and find some clothes to throw on.

2) Omit the shower and find some clothes to throw on.

*sniff sniff*

I�m going to need that shower.

As I stumble, blind without my glasses and sleep still in my eyes, I grab my towel... but instead of heading to the shower, I sit back down on the bed.

It�s now 12:52. I have to be in class in 33 minutes. I would have to leave here by 1:17, leaving me with a mere 25 minutes to shower, dress, prepare and gather my things for class. I can do it.

It�s now 12:53. Crap. I now only have 24 minutes. I can�t do all that in 24 minutes.

I turn the computer on.

I go to the bathroom to pee. As I stand there, I assess the situation. All we�re doing is going though class presentations. I gave mine on Monday. I�m done. I�m over it. I will just sit there, listening to persuasive speeches about why you should join a frat, why the rush system should be changed and why the drinking age should be abolished.

I�m not going.

But... I haven�t even missed a class, yet... well... not *this* class, anyhow...

I sit in front of my computer to check my email. �Hrmm... maybe I should write a diary entry... let�s open Word.�

�Hrmm... crap... crap... crap... oh! John updated!�

So... I read John�s diary... I laugh.

I look at the clock... it�s 12:58. I can make it.

A little box flashes on my screen... �oooooh! Aaron IMed me! I haven�t talked to him in forever!�

It�s 1:04. I�m not going to make it.

�Hrmm... I know what I�ll write for my diary entry! I�ll write about how I don�t want to go to class.�

Right now, at this very moment... I am looking at the clock.

The big green lines on the little white box sit there... mocking me. Laughing at me for my inability to change them... the fact that my life revolves around the way in which the green lines dance with each other...

They are telling me that I should be in class in two minutes.

Make that one minute.

My Sony Dream Machine stares at me... continuing to mock me. It believes that it will win once, again. All it will take is the movement of the lines.

It is done.

The race against the clock... and it has won...

But... has it?

I have used that little machine to leverage things in my favor, before... and I have just done it, again.

I didn�t want to go to that class. All I can do, is sit and wait for the time to pass... so that the guilt can pass.

1:31

Class is 6 minutes closer to finishing.

I could rush... I could hurry... I could make it there in time to hear a couple presentations...

1:32

Time is on my side. The more times the lines dance, the less my feelings to rush to make it are present. The guilt of sitting, watching the minutes pass is continually washed away by the reason which states that... I cannot get there in time to be useful.

1:34

And so I sit... typing away... watching the image of letters, forming words... words forming sentences... sentences relaying thoughts... my thoughts telling a story...

1:36

This imaginary page... only true in my mind and in the chips of a machine... is helping me to escape... escape the routine that is my life... escape the jumble that is my mind... a way to express all of the thoughts and fears and worries I have... a way to get it all out...

1:39

It�s a great procrastination tool, too...

1:41

But... I�m guessing that�s one of the reasons that *you* are reading this page...

1:43

Maybe you�re reading because you miss me... maybe because you want to know how I�m doing... maybe because you want to be amused... maybe you feel like you have a better grasp on my life than you ever had before... maybe you feel comforted in knowing that someone else out there is going through the same things you are... maybe you feel comforted in the fact that someone else out there is going through a lot more...

1:47

I�m a hungry bitch.

1:48

Maybe I need to get something to eat.

1:53

Why is the kitchen a fucking nasty pit? And someone used my pot. *MY* pot. Ok. I have this strange thing about people using my pot. Ask any of my former roommates. It�s mine. You can use it... but if you do... it needs to be cleaned *immediately* after use.

And right now, my baby is sitting on the stovetop... covered in dried spaghetti... as is everything else in my kitchen...

I bet I could still make my class... if I hurried.

2:02

Hark?! Is that sound I hear the sound of the microwave summoning me to my hearty feast... of white rice?

2:15

God bless Joyce Chen and the invention of the microwave rice cooker.

I wonder what they�re doing in class right now.

I wonder if there�s anything good on TV.

2:40

Well... the food was good...

TV was ok.

And class... is over.

Oh well... maybe next week...

So... let�s recap... I woke up at 12:30, checked my email, read a diary entry, ate rice and watched crap TV... all while ditching a class.

And I still really need to shower.

Hope your day is more productive than mine...

later, kids

~robert