Lord of the (Tongue) Rings

So... I'm sitting in lecture for Satan's Kitchen, right now... and I knew, long before walking though the door that I would be bored to tears. Being the sensible lad that I am, I decided that I didn't need to do all of my work before bed, last night... and I left it all to do in class... Of course, I'm sitting here with a lap top on my, well, lap... and having finished all of my work... I need to keep myself from having falling asleep and drooling on myself...

Satan's Kitchen should die and go to hell... errr... some place worse...

So... my last full day in Florida, I had a lot on my agenda...

Visit Animal Kingdom. See Festival of the Lion King. Exit park ASAP.

Visit Disney/MGM Studios. Ride Coaster. See Bear. Be molested by Gapetto... (ok... that one wasn't on the list... but... it happened...)

Visit Magic Kingdom. See Day Parade. Ride TTA, Buzz Lightyear, Mansion. Wander aimlessly through park. Shop on Main Street. Watch Castle Show. Make one last appearance at the Zoo.

Visit EPCOT. Eat sushi at Japan. Watch Tapestry from far away, as to not recognize the performers. Buy Tapestry of Dreams T-shirt.

Visit Old Town. Get tongue pierced.

That�s right. Get tongue pierced.

So... to answer a couple common questions... no. It didn�t hurt. It was just a tiny pinch. I didn�t bleed. And, luckily, I didn�t really even swell up, that much.

When I got the piercing, I got this sheet titled �After Care for Oral Piercings.� That was exciting reading, let me tell ya. Rinse with Listerine after everything you eat, drink or smoke for 4 weeks. Gently suck ice for the first 24-48 hours. Stay on a liquid diet for 3 to 5 days. No oral contact (kissing or oral sex) for 4-6 weeks.

Right. So... Listerine is my best friend. I eat a power bar, I rinse. I drink juice, I rinse. I smoke a cigarette, I rinse. I have never had such fantastic oral care in my entire life!

For the first two days, I sucked on ice like a 14 year-old Jerry Springer trailer park princess sucks on her mother's transvestite boyfriend. In other words, a lot. It kept the swelling down. So... that made me happy.

Liquid diet... for 3-5 days! Hell no! Unless they're referring to only being allowed to drink alcohol for 3-5 days... not... that I've ever, like, done that, or anything.... I lasted approximately 18 hours. I was on the AutoTrain back up north... and they were serving a salmon steak. Like I�m about to turn down good, �free� food.

No oral contact. Ouch. When I told some of my friends, the first response was, �There goes your social life.� COME ON, PEOPLE. I am not a whore! I swear. Every now and again, I guess I�ve been... um... popular... or wicked drunk... but... I�m a good boy.... I promise! Anyhow, my social life *hasn�t* been killed as a result... I mean, I almost made it. About two days short of a month... So close... yet so far away...

So... I was wicked nervous about "using" my tongue ring for the first time... but... it really wasn't as scary as I had thought. I was worried about not being able to kiss as well or drooling more or having it get in the way... but... really... it was fun. I mean, overall, I was never really sure how I really felt about having it... but one of my friends told me, "when you start kissing boys, again, you'll LOVE it!" And, well... he was right!

I mean, it was a little odd at first... I felt like I'd never kissed before... I was all nervous and gittery... like a tongue virgin... I was learning to kiss all over again...

But in the end... there was no excessive drool and it didn't really get in the way... much. And as far as not kissing anyone for over a month, it was like riding a bicycle... I just kinda hopped right on (figuratively, of course) and rode, as if I�d never missed a beat...

So... I was kinda thinking about how he felt about it... and I was about to ask how he felt about it... but he beat me to the punch, "how do you like the tongue ring?"

"Um... I'm not sure, yet... how do *you* feel about it?"

slight pause "I like it."

Ok. So... maybe it wasn't the *overwhelming* positive response I had hoped for... but... it was positive, nonetheless.

And now, I am proud to report that I am no longer a tongue virgin. I am now Lord of the Tongue Ring!

Ok... maybe that's going too far... but... at the very least, the ring has been christened.

Because, of course, as read in the bible... on the eighth day, god said being gay was all good... and on the ninth, he deemed the gayest men to get tongue rings and kiss. Or something like that...

I got an e-mail this morning that I was selected to interview with Starwood Hotels!

WHOO HOO!

Ok... why is this exciting to me? Well, Starwood Hotels is the company that runs the Walt Disney World Swan and Dolphin Resorts. They only gave out seven interviews at Cornell... and they gave me one of them! So... hopefully, I�ll be spending my summer in Orlando... I�d be in a rotational internship in the rooms division and I�ll be able to pick up shifts at Tapestry! WHOO HOO!

My interview is on February 22nd... stay tuned...

later, kids...

~robert