Happy Single's Awareness Day

So... it's Black Thursday... errr... Valentine's Day.

And for some reason, once again, the computer hates me. My IM shut off in the middle of the day, for no apparent reason... but... had you seen me online... this is the Away Message you would have received:

Auto response from Dameon8888: For those of you young lovebirds, I wish you a Happy Valentine's Day. As for everyone else, I'd like to take a moment to bitch about what I'd like to rename this Hallmark Holiday to "Singles Awareness Day"... 'cause let's face it, today is the day happy couples and chocolate companies set aside to rub in our faces that we are alone. Well to all you little lovebirds, while y'all are off fucking like bunnies shouting "I LOVE YOU," I'm gonna be sitting my fat ass in front of the TV, eating garlic bread and a gallon of Ben & Jerry's. By the time I'm done, I'll be just as happy and satisified as you are... but I won't be sweating or out of breath. Happy Singles Awareness Day to one and all!!!

Yes, I realize that the away message might seem a bit... bitter... but... really... I'm not. I mean, I have enough going on that I just don't have time for someone.

*sigh*

Repeat until believed.

Valentine's Day has always sucked for me. I must've pissed off Saint Valentine at some point in my days. Maybe it was because I never really bought into the lovey dovey crap. Maybe it was the years of buying store bought commercial valentines.

I mean, I had all sorts of those cheap crappy ones... He-Man, Spiderman, the Popples... and yes... I am guilty of giving out New Kids on the Block Valentines back in the day (Good Lord, that makes me feel old).

I was a big NKOTB fan.

I bought Tiger Beat... I hung pictures of Jordan Knight on my wall... and to think... my family is totally oblivious to the fact I'm gay. Go figure.

But... I digress...

Where was I... Valentine's. I wish it were simple, like back in 2nd Grade. I remember sitting in Mrs. Schwitzer's class with a pair of sizzors (safety, of course), various pieces of colored construction paper, Elmer's Glue, Crayola Markers (we were a well-to-do elementary school) and a paper bag, faced with the task of making a little mailbox for the hordes of Valentines we were to exchange.

And remember how it was mandatory that you gave *everyone* a valentine? If you gave a valentine to one person, you had to give them to everyone... that way no one felt left out...

Now that we're older, it sucks. Couples in love, holding hands... sharing candlelit dinners, as I speak... errr... write. They're just about to finish dinner and exchange beautiful jewelery and exquisite chocolates...

Ok, ok. Maybe I don't have a clear picture of the *actual* process... but... isn't this how *you* envision it? That's what love is supposed to be, right? You say you love each other, have a fancy (or homecooked) dinner, exchange presents you can't afford, then you fuck.

But really, there's no need for that. As in the words of my friend Jake... "I want a man. I don't need a man, just like I don't need a cig. But I would like one or more of both."

I have my cigarettes and ice cream and my stuffed Snoopy. And when I wake up in the morning, I'm not going to have to worry about over extended muscles or raunchy morning breath or telling the crusty person next to you that s/he is beautiful, even with dried drool on the chin.

Ah... to be single & not have to blatenly lie in the morning...

later, kids...

~robert