"Imagine if You Weren�t a Freak..."

Hello, everyone... and welcome to...

Robert�s Pet Peeve Entry

Pet Peeve of the Night: Random people Instant Messaging me to talk about what it�s like the work in the Walt Disney World Character Department.

Now... for whatever reason... people who IM me out of the blue to talk about characters are the freakiest people.

Ever.

I mean... sometimes I get a random IM from a friend of a friend asking about it because they want to do it. This I have no problems with...

It�s the freaks that sit and search the member profiles of AOL to seek me out to ask me all sorts of fucking ridiculous questions...

Is it hot in there?

Are there air conditioners in the heads?

So, are you, like, Mickey Mouse?

Are you Prince Charming?

Do you know Cinderella?

Isn�t Mickey always a woman?

Ugh.

Sometimes, I just answer the questions...

Yes, no, no, no, yes, and while Mickey isn�t always a woman, many times she happens to be a bitter little Hispanic girl who speaks approximately thirty-four words of English.

Other times... I play with them.

No. It�s not hot at all. We have these special wet suits which were produced by NASA that keep us totally cool. And I am Cinderella. I know I�m a guy... but I just have the right look... there�s only one other guy who does it... and we both just look spectacular in drag. In fact, I�m usually the one they pick for commercials and other filmings. I�m the number one Cindy on property!

But... the worst ones, by far... are the ones who are turned on by the characters.

*shudder*

I mean... not that Jasmine, when in shape and without any rolls, is sometimes a little bit of a turn on...

Or in my case, when Prince Charming�s pants are wicked tight and I can tell whether or not he�s Jewish and how tight his ass is, it�s a bit of a turn on.

However... the freaks who are turned on by the FUR characters are... well... fucking GROSS!

I had a man the other day asking me if I was Pinocchio...

When I asked why, he told me that he liked the way spandex looks on the little people in the costume. He then continued on to tell me how Pinocchio might be the only way to help cure his attraction to children... he felt that if he could get with a little gay boi who was Pinocchio, but of legal age, he might not get himself into any trouble.

?!?!?!?!

How fucking gross is that?!

Ok... so... here�s a section of an actual conversation that I had with a random freakshow, tonight... (the name of the accused has been changed to protect the freak...)

Elon1989 [4:05 AM]: so you know people who play Luminere

Dameon8888 [4:05 AM]: i know someone who performs in that role in the show at beauty and the beast...

Elon1989 [4:05 AM]: have you seen them as the candle

Dameon8888 [4:06 AM]: why?

Elon1989 [4:06 AM]: I am interested

Dameon8888 [4:06 AM]: why? in what...?

Elon1989 [4:07 AM]: I mean if I could I would love to be Luminere

Elon1989 [4:07 AM]: How tall would one have to be

Dameon8888 [4:07 AM]: 5'6" - 5'8"

Elon1989 [4:07 AM]: How would you know

Dameon8888 [4:07 AM]: because there's a list

Elon1989 [4:07 AM]: do you know anyone who plays him

Dameon8888 [4:07 AM]: yes

Elon1989 [4:08 AM]: male or female

Dameon8888 [4:08 AM]: i know one of each

Elon1989 [4:08 AM]: he is one of my favorites

Elon1989 [4:09 AM]: imagine if Disney had a warlock or soceceror that worked at park

Elon1989 [4:10 AM]: I see you are gay

Dameon8888 [4:11 AM]: i see that you can read

Elon1989 [4:12 AM]: I have dreams

Dameon8888 [4:12 AM]: as do i

Elon1989 [4:12 AM]: imagine if luminere could become real

Elon1989 [4:12 AM]: imagine if someone could become the candle in reality

Dameon8888 [4:12 AM]: imagine if you weren�t a freak...

I don�t know why... but the man stopped talking after this.

*shrug*

later, kids...

~robert