Mixing Liquor, Barbarians and Hoochies

The ringing phone sounds like explosions just inches from my head.

Sunlight hurts, so I close my eyes, again.

Using sound as a guide, I slowly thrust my are towards the sound of the ringing.

*FUCK*

I missed the phone... but I got the back of my chair.

The ringing stops.

As I lay there, reeling from the throbbing pain in my hand and my head... I think to myself...

Why did I drink, last night?

Oh... right... yesterday was a fairly icky day...

Long story short, yesterday, without any warning, dad cleaned out and closed my checking and savings account in Illinois, leaving me with $25 left in credit on the mastercard, $22 in cash and loose change. So... after freaking out, his secretary tells me that he doesn�t want to talk to me... not that he�s busy and can�t... but... he just didn�t want to. So... I have no clue what in the hell is going on... all I know is that at the current moment, I am broke and screwed.

So... still in disbelief and total shock, drinking seemed to be a great way to deal...

But now, I�m just as confused and in disbelief... only with a major hangover...

Niiiiice.

So... Lauren turned 21 a couple days ago... (Happy Birthday, Lauren!)... and last night, she had a little shindig at her place...

For her b-day, daddy bought her over $175 in beer and spirits... and of course, I had to help her with that... Midori, vodka, rum, Malibu, Bailey�s, Dos Equis... and those were just the bottles I touched... not to mention the couple drinks I had before I went over... and the couple I had to help me sleep...

But... back to Lauren�s party... there was a very interesting mix of people... her friends from the classics department... and the kids who have lived with her in the past couple years... and, of course, three of her ex boyfriends... in addition to one of mine.

Grrrrrrreat!

I think that Matt (aka Matt #1; Ghetto) and I are finally on good terms... for the first time in a long time, we actually talked... face to face... like friends. I mean, I know why we broke up... basically I was totally unstable... and in one stupid night... he said something to me that I took the wrong way and blew out of proportion... and I broke up with him. I think he sort of understood... but I also think it hit pretty fast and he was really confused... but... we�re totally cool, now... and that makes me really happy...

Lauren was having an interesting time juggling her ex-es... luckily for her, not all three of them were ever in appearance at the same time... but... let�s talk for a second about her ex... and to protect the totally guilty, we�ll call him Barbaric. I was never a fan of Barbaric... freshman year, he was an RA in my building... and after an unfortunate evening of �your mama� jokes... we had a little run-in... and by little run-in, I mean he came down to my floor and screamed at the top of his lungs, throwing threats and insults, completely in my face... this incident made two people on the floor cry, a few others to become terrified of Barbaric and multiple people ask me to write up incident reports... who knew that middle eastern people were so sensitive about their mothers?

So... Barbaric showed up... instead of using the door... he crawled through the window on the second floor... and as he came in the window, he stepped on me. I almost beat him with the bottle of Southern Comfort. As the evening progressed, he started to get nasty with this semi-trashy-hoochie girl (sorry if you know and like her... I just call �um as I see �um...)... and as they continued to grind against each other... his ass got closer and closer to my face. I wanted to vomit... and it had *nothing* to do with the alcohol...

So... before I got too disgusted and ready to duct tape him to a parking lot to use him as a speed bump, I went home...

Well... stumbled, anyhow...

Why don�t people respect my opinion?

Ok... so... maybe it�s not a question of respect... rather... a question of why do you ask for an opinion and then blatantly ignore it?

I mean... I understand... sometimes, I have no clue what I�m talking about... but... there are some things that I really do have a good grasp on...

In this particular instance, I�m talking about guys... more specifically... Disney guys...

Now, I don�t want to sound like a egotistical freak... but... I really do know a lot of guys... especially around Disney... I mean... it�s not that I�m a whore, or anything... but... I just have a lot of friends... and it just seems that I make friends with the people who know everyone... and... as such... I get introduced around... and somehow, I get exposed to a lot of information...

So... since everyone knows this, people come to ask me for info and background on various people... actually... it usually starts a guy wants to know the name of another gay boy... and it just goes on from there...

Now... most of my friends know that I�m a fairly good judge of people... and I can usually sort out what I�ve heard as true, embellished or rubbish...

So... I always wonder why people come to me for info... and then... ignore it. I mean... I�m not saying that I�m the end all be all of the gay men opinion source for Disney... but... I usually know.

Now, when two people get together against my suggestions on both ends... I just sit back and grin... I mean... sure... occasionally I�ve been wrong about pairings... but... really, my track record is very good... As Cori can attest, I am really good at weeding out the obsessive freaks... (well... for everyone, except myself... prime example, Mike the psycho stalker cheater...) but... somehow, once I�ve tagged someone as such... people still get involved...

I believe that people learn best from their own mistakes. Sometimes, however, they recognize that a mistake was made... but they don�t know enough about themselves as a person in order to keep from going down the same path, again. So... when a person travels down the same path, making the same mistake over and over and over again... it takes an outsider to point it out... and it takes a strong person to be able to take the feedback to heart to change.

I am no one�s protector but my own. I can only take responsibility for myself and my own actions... if I were to take on the role of guardian and protector for each of my friends, I�d be screwed... maybe I�m selfish... maybe I�m pompous... but... with everything that�s gone on in my life... I�ve slowly come to realize that it�s impossible to fully understand the actions of everyone around me. Trying to rationalize it and take ownership of other people�s actions has only caused heartache and confusion.

So... all I can do is sit and wait for my friends to come to me to share their trials and tribulations regarding the latest �significant other� (god, I hate that term) in their life... I can be the shoulder to cry on... I can be the understanding sympathizer...

I will never, however, say... �I told you so.�

But that sure as hell doesn�t mean I can�t think it to myself...

Where has the day gone?

It feels like I just woke up... and like I just went to sleep a few hours before that...

But... I guess mixing alcohol and getting hungover is enough to throw off any normal sense of time...

later, kids...

~robert